A wise man once told me at the start of 2013, ‘whatever happens, I want you to try to remember why you love CADs.’
For a long time, I’ve been wrestling with the demands of my job in the EB to the point that I not only questioned, but completely lost grasp of my purpose in this organization. Perhaps the only comforting, but not necessarily good, thing about this was that I wasn’t the only one feeling it. I don’t wish to recall and dwell on the sour moments of the past but I can’t deny that those reminded why I loved CADs.
I joined CADs not knowing who and what it was, except that they joined Skechers and I watched live once before I became a part of it (CADs, I mean, not the Skechers team lolz). I joined with no expectations, knowledge or probably even skill to say that I truly deserved to be a member. I joined CADs simply for the ‘dancers’ aspect. I joined to dance.
Lessons were learned, memories were made, friendships were forged, love was found, responsibilities were addressed, muscles were torn, injuries were earned.
I was injured and I could no longer dance the same way. I could never do a full 100% run without first worrying whether I could even survive until the end of the dance and hope to live until I’m a hundred. Dancing was never the same. Dancing was no longer an escape. Dancing became a hazard. I didn’t realize it then but now I know that I can’t stay in CADs the same way knowing my real purpose of being here no longer exists.
It’s pretty random, but I figured out what to do because of the YEC shirt that says: LIVE LOVE LET GO. I’ve lived in CADs. I’ve practically been dancing every count with fear that I might be dying a little more inside (literally). I’ve loved and this needs no explanation. I’m at a point that I need to let go of dancing for CADs, because for as long as I frustrate myself with compensating my dancing with other things, I will never be happy.
Letting go is never easy, but don’t be afraid to do so. I can go on and on about it but the bottom line is, with CADs, it’s easier to let go because you will never truly be gone.